The Pimptastic 300

So there’s been this pimptastically janky Chrysler 300 parked in front of my house for at least 24 hours. I’ve seen it before in the neighborhood, and there’s no reason that it should be parked where it is. It’s usually parked on an adjacent street, but the other day when I left for work, I noticed it parked randomly in a different location on the opposite end of the street from where it usually is.

It appeared sometime during the middle of the night, and was there when I left for work; it was there when I came home, as well. Not amused, since — when I asked my neighbor if he knew what was up — he said that he noticed it, too, and thought it was someone I carpooled with.

Sheesh. Please.

I called the Anaheim PD and told them there was a suspicious (aren’t Chrysler 300s always semi-suspicious?) vehicle loitering in front of my beloved casa. Apparently a car is allowed to be parked somewhere for 72 hours before it has to move. Alright, fair enough — but if I go dying, I implore you all to scour my neighborhood for the tool that drives the 300 with ridiculously gaudy 24s (I swear they look that big) and handle business, if you know what I mean.

A while ago, I was sitting here wondering what to write, when a large, equally tool-esque and massively ginormous lowered silver Dodge truck pulled up right behind it. I scampered to the front living room window and peered out of the shutters, right after I gracefully rammed my foot into the dining room table, which caused me to fall into the chair that I was walking toward, at which point it slammed against the wall and probably tipped off said tool that he was being spied upon.

Anywho, the person shut the engine off, got out of the truck and walked up to the car. He (assuming by the gait, since he was covered in a hooded sweatshirt and walking around in the dark) rummaged around inside, got out, shut the door, walked around to the rear, unlocked what I saw was a pack-rat-ified trunk and began rifling through stuff with flashlight in hand. I guess the good news is that this individual didn’t have to break into it to rummage through all the junk. The bad news is that he got whatever it was that he wanted to get — or leave behind, got back in his truck and drove off.

The car remained.

It doesn’t appear as though the 300 is going to move anytime soon, so I’m hoping that the street sweeper does its job in the morning and properly tickets the thing. Then I hope that the person comes back again tomorrow night and, under cover of darkness, rifles around some more, misses the fact that there’s a street sweeper ticket under the windshield wiper and then leaves again — which would give me permission to have the police finally be able to do something about it.

Apparently the only thing they can do is “mark” the vehicle, after which point I’m not sure what the next steps would be…but I assume removal would be in order at some point?

Tonight I am thankful for neighbors that are as suspicious as I am, for the Anaheim PD who so kindly informed me of the 72-hour rule and for the impending street sweeper. May the shady 300 be on its way before too long — if not by its own doing, then by that of a tow truck.

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