Something clicked in me this morning. No, not a funky joint or popping tendon or something in my back (although my left arm likes to make a strange clicking noise in my shoulder when I raise it), but something in my brain.
And in my heart.
I walked into my office, put my stuff down, fired up the computer and – almost clear as day – had a thought come to mind:
“It’s a good day to write a play,” was the thought.
I smiled to myself and, in response to the thought, gave it a reply.
Have there been bad days for writing? Not necessarily. Any day is a good day, and each day has the same amount of hours that we (read: I) can choose to do something with – or not. But “bad” in the sense of I can’t get out of neutral and get started on my work again? Absolutely.
The clarity of the thought was nothing short of liberating. Aside from hoping that I’d be able to finish some of my written projects in the next couple of months, there was also the voice in the back of my head that kept a question clearly on my radar: Desire aside, do I even have the drive to get it done? To sit down and crank something out, even though every time – without fail – that I finally do X, Y or Z, I always think, “Why did I wait so long?”
The agonizing that I put myself through is always 100% worse than the actual act of sitting down and just writing to see what comes out. And there’s always time to go back and refine.
(See “Guides” post from yesterday.)
And even though I know this, I’ve been idling for quite some time.
Until, I think, this evening.
Today I am thankful for the feeling that the worst is behind me, that I’m finally going to get it into gear, for the feeling of liberation and for the creative energy that one beautiful, inspiring split-second this morning gave to me.