Rewriting the Cameo

Some people come into our lives and we immediately know why. Others are there for reasons we don’t yet know.

The starring roles are the easiest to figure out. A best friend gets us through hard times, gives us a shoulder to lean on, an ear to bend, a brain to pick and a heart of gold.

A significant other shapes us, bends us, molds us — hopefully always in a loving manner. In time, we turn into someone who either wants to be in it for the long haul, or into someone who realizes the lessons learned, the ways in which we’ve grown and the undeniable need for more expansion — all thanks to that person. And then we move on.

I have a lot of personal regrets, but very few — if any — when it comes to the people who have been in my life; I can look back and clearly see why they were there. I do, however, wish that some roles would’ve been different. I wish that some would’ve been reversed. Some who had starring roles would’ve made better cameos, and vice versa.

The cameos are the ones that kill me. They keep me up at nights, they make we want to back in time and say more, do more, show more, open up more. They tell me to do better for the next cameo that comes along, and to keep my eyes wide open so that I can spot it and not let the moment pass — again.

They beg for bigger roles, for the spotlight, for the attention and for the applause. Sometimes I recognize this of them and I decide to pass. Other times, I realize it too late and wish I could hit the rewind button.

The cameos of days gone by are the ones that like to tell me to seize the moment and stop walking away. They tell me to make room for another starring role, and to not be afraid of its potential the way that I’m afraid of my own. They show up in my dreams. They’re hauntingly beautiful.

Tonight I wish that I could rewrite some cameos and do things differently, yet I know I can’t. Those that were short-lived, either by my doing or the other person’s, make me sad and fill me with hope, all at the same time, but I’m thankful for their impact on me. I’m grateful for their ability to be eye-opening, to inspire soul-searching and for their contribution to my world, my heart, my spirit.

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