It’s entirely possible I’ve written about it before, but it’s a realization that’s popping into my head more and more often these days.
This nasty little four-letter F-word is one of those silent killers, the written equivalent of carbon monoxide.
Fine will take you down if you let it. Why? Because nothing’s so bad that it needs changing, and nothing is so great that you’re really, truly living.
If you’re simply fine, your passions might be experiencing neglect. They’re withering away, somewhat hoping things will take a turn — a turn that might end up being a catalyst so that you chase after your dreams.
If you’re simply fine — not good, not great — you might feel as though the day-to-day is taking a lot out of you. Maybe you’re going through the motions and wondering what it’s all for. Maybe you’re putting yourself through the paces but wondering about your purpose. Maybe you’re fine but not fulfilled.
Fine may be the result of waiting on some news that has you a bit on edge. It may be the result of sheer exhaustion. It may be the result of feeling directionless but still grateful, helpless but not without resources, depressed while realizing the good around you, and it may be the result of a lack of trust in others even though you still cling to your belief in humanity as a whole.
What will it take to push you out of fine? Will it take the addition of something? The absence of something?
If you know how to get out of fine, are you hesitant for a reason? Do you trust your heart, or do you question it? Are you bound by obligations and responsibilities by which you may feel trapped? Or do you simply have yet to reconcile how to make everything work together, like an orchestra at the hands of its chief conductor?
While good on the surface, today I am thankful for realizing the curse of fine and the downward spiral that it can send us into if we’re not careful. Other four-letter words don’t quite have the power to be our undoing the way “fine” does, but realizing your state of existence and knowing how to move beyond “fine,” if that’s where you are, can be a real game-changer, a life-changer. And life-changing is more than fine by me.