Deserving.

There are certain movies I’ll watch every time I see them on TV, and 27 Dresses is one of them.

Tonight, I heard something for the first time — really heard it. I’d watched the scene before, but there’s a line that finally resonated deep within. Kevin says to Jane, “I think you deserve more than what you’ve settled for. I think you deserve to be taken care of for a change.”

Nobody has ever said this to me until tonight, when I repeated it to myself.

Have you ever woken up one morning or had a moment of realization that left you dizzy with nothing more than the truth? No cocktails involved, no over-the-counter drugs causing a slight buzz — just a shot of straight, simple truth. For as intoxicating and head-spinning as it can be, it provides a sobering experience. Tonight was a moment for one of these truths.

I like giving. I’ve tried to not do it, but I can’t help myself. Yet there’s no denying the fact that it often leaves me drained, both emotionally and occasionally financially at times. I’ve accepted the role of shoulder-to-cry-on, advice-giver and drop-everything-to-come-be-with-you-er, but I’ve also settled because I’ve not made room for someone to do the same for me. I’ve been too busy doing for others, which isn’t a bad thing. But I’ve forgotten to let my walls down so that I could perhaps be taken care of for a change.

It was an interesting realization.

Tonight, I am thankful for those instances in life that act as finger-snapping moments and urge us to wake up. Do we stop? No. We simply make room for our actions to be reciprocated. I would never take back my efforts, acts of kindness, demonstrations of friendship and outreach, but realizing that I’ve not been as open as those people to whom I’ve run was knowledge I was missing.

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