They’re exes for a reason, but we also partnered up with them in the first place because there was something that we liked about them, right?

They might’ve been around for a few months or a few years, but no doubt they had an ability to leave a few parting gifts when they moved on. Maybe we didn’t know it at the time, but there’s perhaps a thing or two that we can thank them for these days. Enter: the ex-ray. Little rays of light that still warm our hearts when we think of the person we know isn’t — wasn’t — ultimately right for us, but which we can [hopefully] appreciate all the same.

I’ve gathered a few rays over the years, not that any of them make me want to reignite anything with past boyfriends. Here are a few.

Ex-Ray #1: Learning to not stress as much about running late. While an hour or more is absurd, a few minutes never hurt anyone.

Ex-Ray #2: Having an open mind when channel-surfing. It’s good to have — and see — a different perspective on something.

Ex-Ray #3: Appreciating the arts. Being involved in the arts.

Ex-Ray #4: Saying yes to spontaneity — even if that means heading out at 8:30 on a Friday night for some unplanned camping under the stars.

Ex-Ray #5: Eating outside more often. Enjoying the air. Feeling the breeze. Enjoying the sunshine or glow from the moon.

Ex-rays are a funny thing. They’re things that we may loathe at first, or that we may not even remember when we part. But while reflecting, like hindsight, can often provide a 20/20 sort of clarity, it also hopefully brings a bit more maturity and gratitude for the time and the good we had with someone else. And for those rays, I am thankful.