My brother bequeathed a fish to me when he left home at 18. It was a tropical fish — a Kissing Gourami which was pink. As such, I named him Floyd. The fish lived to be close to 20 years old — no joke. For years I dutifully cleaned Floyd’s tank, but when I went […]
It’s getting crazy out there. ‘Tis the season for oblivious drivers, mindless wanderers, rogue shopping carts and grabby people. I was buying tea yesterday. Tea — something that evokes images of quiet and calm, peace and warmth. After studying the display long and hard, my hand was almost upon a particular box, until said box […]
He just wanted to turn left into a housing tract. But it was rush hour, and he had to get across three lanes of traffic first. I was in the middle lane and the light up ahead was red. My lane was backing up quickly, so I kept the intersection open and left a clear […]
Anyone been watching Hallmark Channel this season? If you have, maybe it’s because you’ve watched it before. Me, this is my first season. Newsflash (or maybe not so much): I’m a crier. Therefore, my newfound channel is, in fact, made for me. Tonight’s feature, Christmas in Conway, has it all: a story that tugs at […]
It’s the worst possible tiiiiiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeeeear For the heater to break So hot cider I’ll make Must stay toasty in here! It’s the worst possible time of the year It’s the chill-chilliest weekend of all With the temperature dropping And raindroppage falling Repair order’s tall! It’s the chill-chilliest weekend of all I have […]
I come from a long line of nutty broads. My mom, her mom, other women in the family — most of us have what I enjoy calling the haywire gene. Sometimes the crazy kicks in. It’s amusing enough when we’re solo, but we can be downright bizarre when we run in a pack. Earlier tonight […]
It’s probably not a large number compared to what others have, but somewhere between Newark and LAX I decided to use my time wisely by deleting as many of my 1,700 pictures as possible. I guess you could call it a premature spring cleaning. The great thing about the iPhone, even though I took forever to warm up to it, […]
When drivers angry-honk at other drivers in New York City, they’re simply saying, “You’re an idiot. Move,” or “Grow a brain.” (I’m sure they’re thinking more than this, but I try to keep it G-rated, yo.) In L.A., an angry honk leaves you wondering if a bullet is about to find its way into your […]
Who remembers Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey? My favorite went something like this: “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ’em go — because man…they’re gone.” I was standing in the TSA line this morning at LAX. Terminal 3, to be exact — the same place where the TSA […]
This was the first night in a few weeks’ time that I went for my nightly walk. I made the mistake of downloading a crime app a couple of months back, and since the time change there has been an unsettling number of robberies in the area — during normal (non-wee) hours. Only one of them […]
Thanky 